Fortitude

Do I miss you? …. Or the security I find in relationships ?

I just need to breathe. I need to not forget to breathe.

Smile and breathe. Don’t over think it Jade.

It’s been two days without my medication and my head is going to explode. I can’t deal with this extreme emotion ATM…
I’m fucking back at square one, I need my repeat.

Tomorrow can’t come any quicker…

Ughhhhhhh fuck this….
Fuck my feelings..

I don’t want to miss you…
I wish it didn’t have to end on such a nasty note, can’t we be friends… No….
I don’t wana be with anyone else… But I don’t wana be with you either…
But I don’t wana be lonely..

What the fuck?!

Ugh Valium makes my arms and legs feel tingly and they feel like they’re blowing up like marshmallows .

So I can kiss a million guys for rebound and forget about you completely .

So much confidence and happiness slowly coming back.
Finding myself again.

Breath of fresh air yo

I just need to keep reminding myself that things wont work out.

Geez, I fucking miss you so much…. but is it just the memories I miss, or being a bigger part of your life? I don’t know…. I do know that I really wish things could’ve worked out.

If I stay up late enough at night, I can hear my brother talk in his sleep from across the hall.

I swear he just said; “Do you want some coco pops?”

Just like my mum said I should. Yes it hurts and the feelings are still there and the memories are still there but I can’t keep crying over someone who’s not gonna love me as much as I love them.
I hate that I love so passionately sometimes, I put my heart and soul into every relationship in my life. Just sucks that there are people out there who abuse that love for self gain .

I will always love you but I need to move on because I’m hurting myself too much.